“I guess it all started when I was really little. People say you don’t remember things from that age, but I do—or at least, I remember the feeling. Like this weird, sharp fog in my mind. I used to think everyone grew up feeling scared all the time, like something bad was always about to happen. Turns out that’s not “normal.”
Therapists say when kids go through stuff like that, it changes how your brain works. They say it tries to protect you, rewiring itself, but it doesn’t always do it in a way that helps. So now I’ve got this brain that seems to make me sad and scared, even when nothing’s wrong. It’s like it’s on this loop, dragging me back into dark feelings without a real reason.
They tell me this stuff doesn’t just go away. It’s something you have to work on for years, and it might still come back. I’m 17, just trying to get through high school, make friends, and figure out who I am. Some days I feel okay, and others are just heavy. I’m talking about it now because maybe, just maybe, it’ll help me believe that someday, it won’t hurt this much.”
Child abuse causes neural changes in the brain which in turn increase the likelihood that depression will become more severe and recur later in life.